The Problem with Chronic Sacrifice
You may think you are alone, but in fact, we all secretly believe that we always give more than we receive. Perhaps you find this a little hard to recognize so, consider this:
If you are married, when was the last time that you felt that you weren’t doing your fair share?
Then, imagine your spouse admitting, “I’m sorry honey. I know that you do more than I do around here.” Why are we so fond of this delusion? Yes…. This is a delusion. Well, the most comforting part of this belief is that it relieves any significant feelings of guilt. After all, how can I be guilty if I am the victim of injustice? Maintaining the belief that all of my relationships are 60/40 soothes my anxiety that I might be guilty of being selfish.
If I also harbor a mild resentment, I‘m even more confident of my selflessness. Though rationally, we may agree that fairness is the best economy, chronic sacrifice is the only way to convince ourselves we are never selfish. Avoiding the process of forming a mutually acceptable agreement may be a shortcut to reducing anxieties, however, those solutions are far less healthy.
This pattern of behavior is yet another obstacle that the Enlight Emotional Cleansing Treatment identifies and resolves.